Helpful Resources

Beginning BDSM Lifestylers Resources

We were all new at one time. As a matter of fact we are all still learning. The quickest way to becoming a “bdsm wannabe” is to think you know everything.

There are as many types of BDSM as there are folks doing it. About the only thing we all have in common is that we are all into “non-mainstream” kinky sex. And even then, it is different for all of us. The importance here is to be open, be aware that while everything may not be for you, it may be right for others. While we can definitely agree on some techniques used (good canes leave welts, cheap canes can splinter, a dominant needs to have an alternative escape plan for his submissive when playing with bondage, etc.), we can’t agree on what BDSM means as a whole, That is up to you.

This section is meant to be a guide and not the end all. We chose the content that we did for its openess, common sense, and good advice.

SM: A Players Handbook
This handbook by Tanonymous for both the novice and advanced scene player. Lots of situations are covered.

Essays and Thoughts About WIITWD
Tanonymous has been involved in the B&D, SM and D/s lifestyle for many years. She has given back to the community through her writing. Her advice comes from experience, and is sound and full of common sense. Many different topics for your exploration.

Beginners Guide to Dominance and Submission
This is a wonderful guide for beginning your journey into alternative lifestyles.

Meeting Others In The BDSM Scene 

So you are ready to meet a partner. Take a few minutes to read advice on attending munches, scene events, and how to use online to join submailSubmissives Onlyclick to join subsonly

bdsm lifestyle essays
Many wonderful essays have been contributed to this site over the years. Please take some time here. The ones below are for those who are new.


So You Want to be a Slave: The Realities

What Do Doms Fear?

Safe, Sane, Consensual

Official NBCA Dictionary

BDSM Health and Safety

Discussions have had a long history here. Read the logs and see what is coming up,

Recommended:One Dominants Journey

Submissive NOT Stupid

BDSM and its Relationship to Self Esteem

Making the Leap from IRC to Real Life

Upcoming Discussions

bdsm links
A great collection of resource links we have accumulated over the years.

Ds Safety Links

“Submissive Women Kvetch”Different Loving Home Pages
The Deviant’s Dictionary